Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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