..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
