We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Two words: blizzard sex
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
