Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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