I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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