Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
