Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
