It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
