you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
