Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
