Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
