Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
