Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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