thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Barsexuality is the new black.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
