After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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