don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
