White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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