I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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