paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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