xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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