We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
