I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize