I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
