the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
