All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
