Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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