and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
