I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
