Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
