They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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