whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize