I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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