he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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