I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
