people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
