I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
