Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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