She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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