I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
