not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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