I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize