Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
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