They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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