My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
