You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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