I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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