Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
