stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
