It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
