We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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