Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
