I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
