Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
