I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
