I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
