used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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