I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He felt like a one man threesome
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
