Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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